Posted by Rachel

I feel like I've been learning a lot lately. A lot about those around me...a lot about myself...about life...just a lot.

I went to South Beach a couple of weekends ago with 9 other girls from my House Church. What a great time! But, I learned I could not live that lifestyle all the time - the aimless game of who can look the best, who can turn the most heads, who can own the most "toys" and who can impress the most.

I've learned lately that though I've always thought of myself as an extrovert and super outgoing (which I still believe I am), I have reached a place in life where large groups of "new" people and things of the sort are uncomfortable at times. It has been a challenge to try to start completely new in friendships and not be in a controlled environment (like school) where everyone is in the same place of life. And I've been dying to break free from this stage where I feel like many people don't know the "real me", but I couldn't force it, as much as I tried. SoBe and Memorial Day were both good times to feel myself opening up and feeling like I'm getting to know more people on a deeper level. I've realized that at times I have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable. I'm looking back over a few months of feeling uncomfortable and as if I didn't really know anyone and they certainly didn't know me...and looking forward to a time when I can honestly say I have great friends in Orlando that I am really comfortable with.

I've learned that the first conversation with someone is so much easier than the second or third.

I've learned that everything I grew up with is definitely not bad and I wish others my age realized that as well. The more conservative backgrounds...the more traditional churches...all of that is not to be thrown out, but rather a starting point for the place we are in life now. A place to appreciate and something to learn from.

I need to grow in the areas of time and money management.

I need to truly, deeply discover God's MISSION for me. Not his present will for me - because I honestly believe I'm living in that. But, his overarching mission.

I always say that I want to be pursued, but I've learned that knowledge comes first with learning what it is to let God pursue me. It's hard for me to admit that many times I don't really think I've been allowing him to do that.

I really appreciate honesty. And the friendships that mean more to me than anything are those in which I can be brutally honest, even to the point of pain, and yet come out on the other side with a stronger friendship.

That's a small RANDOM taste. It has been a full past few weeks.

Texas highlights  

Posted by Rachel in , , ,

Almost one year to the date of graduating from college, I went back to my "alma mater"...
Highlights of my trip to Texas (in no particular order):

  • Lunch w/ Brenda and Ryan...I wish we had a McAlister's!!
  • QT with two families: Brian/Brooke and new baby Briley! AND Chad/Sherene and kids
  • Mexican food - especially hot and fresh flour tortillas at Papacita's
  • Having a table of 15 people at dinner Thursday and looking around to realize I deeply love (and miss) each person at that table
  • Visiting my old apartment - 15B, even though it was sad
  • Driving down Noon Day Rd in Hallsville near sunset... one of my favorite country drives
  • Seeing my future husband and planning our wedding (and no, I don't have any news for you)
  • La and Em taking off work early to spend time with me
  • Making dinner with my friends two nights in a row
  • Bonfire in the country
  • Breakfast with Christa, just like old times (except it was lunch back then)
  • Watching the Office with 7 people on a couch
  • Somehow having catch up time with WAY more people than I thought I'd be able to!
  • Beautiful weather on Saturday
  • Em and I making Jason's grad card on the hood of her car on the side of the road out of blue poster board
  • Benny trying to kill me with the frisbee.... multiple times....during our late night sports outing
  • The boys participating in a walk-off. And Jason winning.
  • Pillow talk w/ Em and Lolly
  • Naps on the Bean
  • Tornado sirens
  • Seeing some of my Texas parents (Brenda, Judes, and La's mom & dad)
  • Getting to fill people in on my life and through that verbal processing, realizing just how much God has blessed me (new job - especially this, house, friends, etc)
  • Coming home to a dinner date at Jason's w/ Lauren...I would be lost without that girl
  • Didn't go to Bodacious but I did have homemade TX BBQ at Jason's party
  • Realizing I am one of the few of our group of friends that cannot still hang out whenever I want.
  • Small amount of drama... we're working on this.
  • I was reminded how fun college was. Growing up isn't always as fun. BUT, I do recognize the need to move on and start this new stage of life.
  • I'm missing Texas friends a LOT right now. I'm especially missing the level of comfort I feel with all of those people. They KNOW me. I sometimes feel like people here still don't. How long does that process take? I'm tired of being close acquaintances... I want deep friendships (in Orlando). I have a few and some are growing for sure, but I realized that it is hard to replace what friendships I had in Texas.
If you are reading this and are a Texas friend, know that I miss you a lot and I really treasure your friendship. If you are an Orlando friend, don't take this to mean you aren't important. Because you are, and I'm so thankful that I have had people surrounding me to help me through the transition from college to the real world. You all are special and you definitely play a huge part in my life. This weekend was a good reminder that life changes. And change is good. But treasuring the important pieces of your past is OK too. We learn. We grow. I know I have been for the past year.