Funniest moment of the weekend  

Last weekend was a good weekend: Avenue Q on Friday, catching up with Jaclyn finally, Christmas brunch at my place for 20 or so of my closest girlfriends on Saturday morning, delivering baked goods to the neighbors with Jillian and Crystal, and a good old fashioned sleepover with Tiffany and a couple of our 10th graders on Saturday night. But, the most hilarious moment was, by far, Sunday after church.

Right after I left church, I went to the gas station, as the gas light in my car had been on since the night before. I think I was running on fumes. So I stop in at the local Chevron, and fill ‘er up. As I’m pumping the gas, I notice the screen in front of me says that you get a free coffee or soda with 8 gallon purchase. If you know anything about me at all, you know that I LOVE a good deal. Did I need to free drink? Nope. Did I want to take full advantage of something free? ABSOLUTELY. So, though I had used the pay-at-the-pump option and had no need to venture inside, I went in for my free drink. I ask the man behind the counter about the deal and he directs me to pick any size fountain drink I want. After getting my drink, I turn around to leave. Now, remember, I just left church and am therefore in church clothes: an outfit including a skirt and boots. Just behind the drink area, there is a very slippery section of floor that I had somehow missed earlier. I was not so lucky the second time around. I begin to feel myself slipping, so I try to stop the process at a slight falter and not an all-out fall. Though it seemed to be in slow motion because of my efforts at stopping the fall, I was not successful. This was, in part, because the only thing near me that I might have been able to grab onto was a little free-standing metal “tree” holding every gummy snack you could imagine. Clearly, I knew that wasn’t going to provide me any stability, so I tried to avoid it. This attempt was also not successful. Are you getting the picture here? I finally collapsed to the floor (very gracefully, I might add… no skirt over the head or anything UTTERLY embarrassing), taking the stand of gummies with me. All of them. So, there I am, sitting on the floor in a heap, my drink, cell phone and wallet somehow unharmed, with a metal store fixture on top of me. The gummy worms, bears, etc. were scattered ALL OVER the floor around me. I couldn’t decide if I was embarrassed (unlikely, knowing my track record in situations like this) or if I just wanted to die laughing. But, since I was alone, I decided to make the quickest exit possible before either emotion took over. A nice man saw the whole thing (including my awkward struggle to keep from falling) and immediately came over to help and see if I was OK. He tried to pick up the metal thing and found that the leg had been bent and it would no longer stand up unaided. Oops. The foreign man behind the counter also came dashing around the corner to the sound of his store being destroyed and immediately began apologizing all over himself as I explained the slick floor and reason for my spill. I was, thankfully, able to point out to him the exact spot that was so slippery, and I was not mistaken. Something had been spilled. I tried to pick some of the scattered gummies and he told me not to worry about it. I wasn’t fighting with that and made a quick exit, leaving quite a mess behind me. Oops again. HAHAHAHAHA even as I’m typing this, I’m remembering just how freakin’ funny this whole thing was and how it MUST have looked. I called Bek immediately because I HAD to laugh about it with someone ( clearly, I made the decision not to be embarrassed but rather to see the complete hilarity of the situation), and soon we were both crying we were laughing so hard.

Someday, you should ask me all about some of my other clumsy moments. I have 23 years full of stories much like this one. In fact, I believe I once blogged about an experience while in Paris. Check it out here. I thought I had finally left that stigma behind me (or, as it would seem at times, passed it on to my sister), but clearly, I was mistaken.

Is anyone else a clutz? Got a clutzy moment to share? I love a good story…at least then I feel like I’m not the only one.