Good morning! How are you?  

Posted by Rachel

If someone were to ask me that question today, I would probably say "Good, how are you?" The pat response that I hate and yet take part in almost everyday.

Because, what I'd really want to say is that I'm tired. I'm frustrated and disappointed in myself. I'm emotional. I'm tired of having to make decisions that I don't want to make. I'm tired of life not making sense. And I want God to reveal his plan to me. Now. Why can't everything just be easy?

But, what I'd also like to say is that I'm thankful for friends that keep me grounded when I have minor meltdowns. I'm glad that when I am going through times of beating myself up and feeling rather crappy about life, I have friends who aren't in that place. Because, let's be honest, if we all felt like crap at the same time, we would never have anyone to lift us up and encourage us in a way to break free from the depression that can try to set in.

And so, how am I doing? I'm OK. I'm learning to trust God and I'm trying really hard to allow the Holy Spirit to invade every part of my life - even those parts that I've been trying to handle on my own and have subsequently become frustrated and felt lost. I'm learning to live with a "victorious limp" (to quote Brennan Manning in the Ragamuffin Gospel).

This entry was posted on Friday, July 18, 2008 at Friday, July 18, 2008 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

2 comments

that "victorious limp" is truly the key to growth and happiness, i think.
'ol brennan knows his stuff. living life this way allows for strength and victory while still living with humility and mistakes. it makes for short-lived guilt and long-lived hope.

i've started telling people i'm "alright" and if they say, "just alright?" i say, "yeah... just alright." that way, if they want more info, they can ask and if not, they can move on and i'm still being honest and open.

July 18, 2008 at 11:00 AM

I just found your blog, and really enjoyed your thoughts in this post.

I'm reading that book right now and I'm somewhere between "bundle of paradoxes" and "tilted halos."

Now I really can't wait to finish it. Thanks! John.

July 23, 2008 at 12:12 AM

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