Accountability  

I have been really blessed by accountability in my life. And one thing I have learned is that accountability is not necessarily something that comes easy, but in our Christian walk, it is beyond important. Sure, some relationships are just that close naturally, and I do have a few of those (one KEY person has been that for me since the 10th grade!). But sometimes, accountability - true, real and deep - comes only by intentionally seeking it out.

I think that is how my first real encounter with this occurred. In college, I was in a place where I knew I needed help, and all of my close friends were either not going to see eye-to-eye with me on the issues I was struggling with (therefore providing no accountability) or in a place where I felt ashamed to tell them where I was struggling (stupid, I know). And so, I sought out a friend that I had a deep amount of respect for, but not one that I had not ever been that BRUTALLY honest with, and asked her to meet me, hear me out, and then keep me accountable. It was amazing what a turn around that made in my life. Even just knowing that one other person knew what was going on and was going to drill me about it later made me want to make better decisions. She prayed with me and for me and that was most important. That alone made me want to get out of the stupid pit I was in.

After that situation, I have made accountability relationships more and more a part of my everyday life. It didn't hurt that my last two years of college were spent living with 4 ladies who would constantly kick me in the butt if I was doing something stupid and guide me back towards the right path. Because of the honesty that was built in those friendships, those 4 women are still 4 of my closest friends and I cannot imagine life without them, even though we are now separated in 4 different states and areas of the country. But, since I don't them every day and they are not a part of the ins and outs of my daily life anymore, they cannot keep me accountable spiritually in the same way that someone here - in Orlando - can do.

When I first moved to Orlando, I joined a small group (my House Church) of people that have become my second family. The relationships in the group have sustained me, spurred me on, encouraged me, and provided me with some of the closest friends I could have asked for in Orlando. Within that group, there is a great amount of honesty and accountability, but we have even discussed lately how we want more of that. As I have reflected on our group, I came to the realization that I might not ever have DEEP accountability in a group of 20+ people, but that doesn't mean that they don't play a massive role in my Spiritual walk, because they do. And over the past few weeks, I have realized just how much of a role, and I have been thanking God for that group... a lot.

But, if deep, personal accountability wasn't going to come in the form of a group of 20 of my closest friends, I knew I needed to seek it out somewhere else. And so, a few months back (a lot of months actually), I began an intentional accountability relationship with two women that I have a deep amount of respect and admiration for. We started on unsure feet, not knowing how it would work or what we even wanted from it all, but it has grown into two of the most edifying and uplifting relationships in my life. Some weeks when we meet are harder than others. Sometimes we just talk about life. Other times we dig deep into the crap under the surface. We challenge each other to grow, to strive after God more, to rely on Him to fix our stupid imperfections and to reflect Him more in our everyday lives. No matter what, there is always a level of honesty and vulnerability that is unmatched by many other relationships in my life.

This post was spawned by recent meetings with these two friends. I have been SO THANKFUL (more so than normal) for them in the past few weeks, I have felt so encouraged by them, and I am constantly excited to see what God has in store for the three of us as we continue to meet and seek Him together.

I also wanted to post this to encourage anyone reading it to be sure that you have relationships like this in your life. Do you have someone that is intentionally keeping you accountable? Sometimes, even with the closest of friends, it is hard to move past the normal conversations to the ones where we ask the tough questions. But, I'd encourage you not to be scared of that, because I am a firm believer that we ALL need that in our lives. If you aren't there with anyone, get there. Please. We weren't made to walk through life alone. We were created by God as relational creatures. I mean, come on, God created Eve just so that Adam would have a companion!

I am confident that I would not be the person that I am today if it were not for those people in my life who are not scared to call me out, but who are also not scared to love me and to love God with everything that they have. So, if you have played that role in my life...thank you.


*Just as a side note, I typed this early yesterday but had yet to publish it, and then late last night had a completely God-inspired night with my best friend and two of our very random out-of-town friends. Amazing. It was total confirmation of that fact that we are not made to walk this walk alone.